Forbidden relationship.

4 replies [Last post]

Tue, 02/26/2008 - 08:09

grandblaster57

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Joined: 02/02/2008

Posts:

hi everybody,im back at the forums and im not doing so good.im
in a relationship where i shouldnt be in.not that she is has a boyfriend or husband nor do i.its just that the fact im going out with a young lady who is 19 basically.having physical intimate realationship.
she goes to church but not following her principles.and shes says she turned christian but from the likes of it she doesnt feel convicted or bad being with me.i certainly feel convicted or bad its just that being a young lady is exciting.but i try to break it off like not answering her txts or call.
i feel really bad making her sin and i sinning at the same time.how should i convey to her that its is not right,but at the same time i sinned with her.my testimony as a christian is ruined.i feel really bad now.shes not from my church but from my work.i think i might go to far.
im on the edge of it.
please pray for me,i need guidance.i dont want this to continue and all fall down.im currently as youth leader in my church.what should i do??
fallen.

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Wed, 04/02/2008 - 18:13

Will

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Joined: 04/02/2008

Posts:

Forbidden relationship.

(I left some stuff out in the previous post and edited some lines)

Hi, your situation sounds really tough.. I know that physical intimacy can make someone really have some intense emotions and difficult to figure things out (mind full of chaos)

Depending on the kind of church you are in.. hopefully a bible-beleiving church filled with the Spirit of the Messiah.. (JC)
"Edited by admin"

First of all know that failing to live up to Gods standard (10 commandments etc.) is nothing new.. we all have fallen short of Gods standard.. so no person is better than the next in that context.. feeling ashamed or in other words.. -convicted- is normal.. so you shouldnt feel so ashamed that you cant tell someone about it though.. thats condemnation and comes from the Devil (satan) who is the accuser and the deceiver. Theres a difference between conviction and condemnation.. you feel you have done something bad.. thats good.. its at the point where we can turn around/repent.. Ask God for forgiveness for sin and then also forgive yourself. God already forgave you when Jesus died for us and rose again.

(Key thing.. repent .. make an effort to stop doing wrong things with the help of Gods Spirit 'reading and hearing the word)

Perhaps speak to your church pastor or other person in your life who has authority and cares about your well-being, who has your best interests at heart (preferably an older guy who has been in the church for a while and is known to be doing his best to be walking a good walk with God. Someone who is married would be good.)

Also.. though.. be careful in your choice of who you tell about it. It would probably be better to tell your pastor or an elder.

Dont put yourself down.. also.. dont put your hope in other people.. put your hope in God.

How do you feel about this lady? Also .. how old are you? Age can be a factor but even if it is a factor things can still turn out for the best .. whatever happens.. God works all things to gether for good for those who Love Him.

If this Lady really cares about you.. ask her to come to church with you and spend time doing things together in church environment.. (but dont be alone together)

If she is not willing to go to church with you .. pray for her .. but perhaps tell her you cant be around her as you need to get right with God and cant if the relationship continues as it is.

If she doesnt respect your beleifs and decisions then she is probably not a good person to be around at the moment.

Have accountability partners.. try to get around 7 accountability partners from a home church group for example.. as there are 7 days in the week..

(not that each one will have a day of the week .. but for example if you are feeling weak at 3 in the morning and desperately need to contact one of them.. one of them will probably be available)

Its good that you are in church and helping out as youth leader etc. If we were all having to be perfect before we helped out then nobody would be doing anything in church.

If you feel afraid to lose your position as a youth leader .. know that its not worth staying in that position if you have to hold things back from the people who may help.. if you think you will lose the position.. also.. you may be able to use this experience in future to help others.. even though right now it may seem difficult to imagine that. You may find that you can still minister to people .. even if it might not be in the 'position' you once were in.

Once again.. dont feel you cant talk to someone you feel can give you prayer and confide in.

Nobody is perfect.. I might sound like i have answers but yes.. i know it is truly easier said than done... As you might have guessed.. im a recovering porn addict myself.

Something someone once said.. it rhymes.. Read the Bible and Pray .. every single day. Sounds so simple .. but its a spiritual challenge to do that in a world full of so many distractions.

Pray for the Creators help. Ask God in Jesus name.. to take over and guide you.

May you be blessed and have true freedom within the safety barrier of Gods plan for your life.

-Will

PS. There are some good audio sermons relating to relationship that I thought were just beautiful from Chuck Smith.

Check a couple of them out online :-)

Romans 6 14-23
http://www.suzao.net/audio/I45302.mp3
Husbands Love your wives.
http://www.suzao.net/audio/eph02_Husban â€¦ _Smith.mp3

www.twft.com
(whole bible teaching online)

Wed, 04/02/2008 - 18:04

Will

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Joined: 04/02/2008

Posts:

Forbidden relationship.

Hi, your situation sounds really tough.. I know that physical intimacy can make someone really have some intense emotions and difficult to figure things out (mind full of chaos)

Depending on the kind of church you are in.. hopefully a bible-beleiving church filled with the Spirit of the Messiah.. (JC)
"Edited by admin"

If you feel peace about it .. first of all know that failing to live up to Gods standard (10 commandments etc.) is nothing new.. we all have fallen short of Gods standard.. so no person is better than the next in that context.. feeling ashamed or in other words.. -convicted- is normal.. so you shouldnt feel so ashamed that you cant tell someone about it though.. thats condemnation and comes from the Devil (satan) who is the accuser and the deceiver. Theres a difference between conviction and condemnation.. you feel you have done something bad.. thats good.. its at the point where we can turn around/repent.. Ask God for forgiveness for sin and then also forgive yourself. God already forgave you when Jesus died for us and rose again.