Hello

I read your post and can fully agree with what you have said. Like many of the other replies, I too have fallen again and again. I have accepted Jesus into my heart and my biggest struggle as in my testimony is my mind. Everytime I am weakest is when I find myself alone. If I am with Godly people, or testifying like now to people with a common bond, I am not falling into my temptations. I now have a streamed Sunday morning message on my computer as I am writing this to help keep my mind pure. If I am not dead focused on Jesus, I have been sure to fall and it doesn't take long. I found myself on a week or so good streak of not looking at anything. Guess what, when I started to put a number on the days that Jesus has aided me, I immedieately fell and have fallen the last couple of days as I am writing this. Jesus does not need to be recored as to how many days I have been clean. All I need to know is that I am cleand and need to continue to be clean. My pattern is when I think about how long I have gone, it's almost like my evil duty to defy the goodness that he has provided. Just a note of where I am. Maybe others can identify. Please pray for me and for the others here that have posted to this that we all may be free in Jesus name.

i have th e same thing,i get on a roll with God a begin to walk with and all of a sudden.i begin to lose my grip on momentum.but i see now the revealation about kind david being at home alone and not being at war.warring to pray or intercede.thats where i confess i fall short.i fell today and wasnt too proud of it but im going to get back up again and watch those situations.and ask for Gods strength.bro be blessed in mind and in spirit i jesus.i thank God that were not alone in this.truly i do want to be free.:)

I can relate to your struggle. I've been single for my whole life and don't believe in sex before marriage. I found myself watching porn at times in my past because of feeling very alone and sometimes weak in the flesh when it came to watching this stuff. What I want to share with you that might help is a couple points that personally I always found helped once I was willing to stop and see the truth.

1. Watching any form of porn will always leave the viewer feeling guilty. Imagine yourself with a burn on your arm. You put the burn in cool water and it feels better only for a moment until you take it out of that water. Porn does the same when it comes to emotions. No matter what the reason for trying to justify watching it, you will always feel guilt because it's morally wrong in the eyes of God.

2. Solution number one. Pray the moment you feel tempted. James 4:7 says Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

With that said, prayer will set you free if you truly want to fight the good fight and free yourself from porn. The devil wants you to give in and think "ah but I've watched it plenty already so why quit now"

3. Last point and this is a huge thing that gave me the strength to walk away from porn after prayer. When you think about watching, imagine these women in these films and what your contributing to when you watch. When viewers watch porn, we are in a blunt truth saying to these people who are miserable on film that we don't care. Watch the videos about how many people in porn have committed suicide or died of drugs. It's a wake up call to anyone who is tempted to watch or tries to think that porn is ok.

When I put these three things together, it was enough finally to get away from ever watching porn again once and for all. I can tell you first hand that it was a giant weight off me in the spirit and even though I'm still alone, I'm way happier being free from these things.

Trust me, you will be porn FREE and so HAPPY!
Micah

I can surely identify with your story.
Since my high-school days I've been watching that mess and grew addicted to it over the course of about seven years. Up to this day I've been clean for almost three months, but before that I was struggling and fell in sin every few weeks.

Now, on how to battle the thoughts... You really have to train yourself. You have to become a spiritual bodybuilder. Every time you walk in the streets there's so many attractive women usually. I challenge you to not look at any of them lustfully. The devil tries so hard to tell you you're missing out on things. "That girl is just too hot, you have to look!". Then simply don't. Try that for a few weeks.
It is hard, but you have to get used to the idea that you are not missing out on anything when you don't let your eyes drift. You have to expose that lie.
It's really a matter of starting with the little temptations. When you can handle those God will trust you with more and in due time He'll set you free. Be disciplined, patient and continue to let God help you.
You have to make sure nothing around your daily environment tempts you. Having a porn-filter is fine, but if you're the one with the password; it ain't gonna work. So I suggest you find an accountability partner to whom you can confess and who can keep an eye on you and who can manage your filter.
I personally got rid of almost anything that would make me fall. I tried very hard to be good, but one day I watched tv and saw the wrong commercial, and then fell. Next thing I did was to get rid of the tv. I got tempted by some videogame magazine showing tempting women. I got rid of the magazine.
You have to search your life and get rid of everything that makes you feel lust. Rethink how much you thought you needed tv (you can always buy dvd's of your favorite shows, so you don't feel tempted to go to explicit material that's offered) for example.
Finally, masturbation and viewing porn go hand in hand. Both are a problem of lust, so you basically have to fight lust with your entire being and ask God to help you change. I think masturbation is the direct problem. Porn is just a tool to get that satisfaction.
Erasing pornography from your life is the first challenge I think. While working on that you probably already know that it isn't the only problem. It is a battle on two fronts, which both greatly influence each other. But the mean thing is lust, and that's what you need to deal with.
And I can hopefully be an example that you don't have to get married.
BTW! I would warn you like crazy not to get married while having these struggles. Marriage isn't the answer, you're just bringing your troubles to another person who has her own problems, which only pile up in marriage. As long as you struggle with porn/masturbation I don't think you are the one to decide to get a girlfriend or to get married or not. You shouldn't even think about that.
Read this forum, all porn does in marriage is creating tears.
So remember, God will help you deal with this problem if your intentions are pure. You have to do all within your power and God will take care of the rest

Yes I can identify with that - I have played those mind games with myself as well.

I have learned that nobody lies or manipulates me more than me. I know what you mean. You make excuses an creep closer and closer to the edge and eventually you are too close and you fall off.

As far as battling the thoughts I have an idea. Are you familiar with the story of David an Bathsheeba? Everybody remembers the part where David was on his balcony and saw Bathsheeba and that's what got him to bring her in and sleep with her. Well entertaining the thought on the balcony, letting his lust grow was not where he initially screwed up. The fact that he was at home was his intial mistake. As it says at the beginning of the chapter, it was the time of year when the kings go to war. He wasn't where he was supposed to be. He was supposed to be with his army. Not sitting at home being lazy. My point here is that there are two things that we need to do. We all have triggers that start us donw the path to lust and sometimes masturbation. Soemtimes it's a pretty girl wearing a lot less than she should. Random commercials and TV shows. Though it is not possible to eliminate all the triggers it is possble to minimize them by avoiding situations we know trigger us. We can try to avoid situations where we are vulnerable. For me it was being on the internet late at night or when I was very bored. One thing I did was keep a recod of when I stumbled taking note of the time of day, what I was doing, and what I think triggered it. I was amazed at the patterns I found. Being on the internet late at night was one I found. Knowing your tendencies is the first step because as you said we play around with filters and turn them off. There were times when I got on the internet late at night knowing I would stumble if I did. We have to grow in self-discipline and if you are like me you have to satart small and build it up.

Keep fighting don't give up. Don't hate yourself either. That's a lie of the devil that just makes us more vulnerable to temptation.

Also when you are tempted stop what you are doing and just pray. If you are on that computer come here to the forums and just write about how you are feeling. Many times just getting it out in the open is relieving and all it takes to over come the temptation.

Take care brother,

Scott