Is it possible to stop masturbating?
I just want to reiterate that question: Is it possible to stop masturbating? I have found it INCREDIBLY difficult to stop masturbating. I have decided in my mind to stop masturbating probably 1,000,000 times before, but somehow I can't resist it. To put it bluntly, I'm basically in love with the act of masturbation. Now, I just want to let anyone who's reading this know that I do have a mental disorder known as O.C.D. (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder). This disorder probably makes it more difficult to stop than for a person without the disorder. But, I don't feel good after I masturbate. I usually feel some sort of guilt or shame and I have terrible nightmares after the act that usually last for a couple of nights. I also have been to Sexaholics Anonymous meetings in the past and I stopped going because I found it impossible to contribute anything verbally to the group (I have problems with shyness which may be a byproduct of the O.C.D.). So, it really seems like the odds are stacked against me when it comes to masturbation. Or, is this what the forces of darkness want me to believe? It seems the only hope I have of overcoming masturbation is therapy. I've been in therapy for a while now with this problem and I've gone in so many different directions with it that I can't even keep track anymore. At first, I wanted to stop it outright so I asked my therapist for suggestions on how to do that. Then, when that didn't work, I decided it would be best if I just did it once in a while and not every other day. So, I asked my therapist for help with that. But, no matter how many directions I go in, I can't deny that it still makes me feel quite bad after the act is finished. However, those few seconds of pleasure during the act of masturbation is what keeps me doing it over again and again. I'm not saying that I'm completely giving up on stopping it altogether. Does anyone have any suggestions, spiritual or otherwise? Is this just a natural urge that will never go away? Thanks in advance for any advice you may give.
Comments
Hi dude. It might not be easy for you to quit, but trust God and turst yourself, you can make it!
Here is a documentary which would be of help for you :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtgsMCECWnw&feature=related
I Can't Stop Masturbating
Synopsis:
95% of men admit to masturbating. But some men masturbate more than others. Much more... 'I Can't Stop Masturbating' will follow two men as they try to break an addiction that is destroying their lives.
Russell masturbates up to 15 times a day, a habit that is destroying his relationships with the opposite sex. We'll follow Russell as he embarks on a road trip across America, sampling weird and wonderful treatments to see if he can finally kick his addiction. Paul's habit means he cannot hold down a job or a relationship. The programme will follow Paul as he undergoes therapy in the UK, in a desperate attempt to get his life back on track. Will Russell and Paul be able to pull it off?
Just wanted to add my bit:
I first tried masturbating around the age of 11 or 12, and by the time I was 13 and a bit it was pretty consistent.
I tried many times to stop, but was never really taught whether it was wrong or not. Like you, it DID NOT FEEL RIGHT, so I kept trying to stop.
I thought after I got married, I would have no need for it, so I let myself "coast" as my wedding day approached. No dice. Masturbation and porn remained a struggle.
Fast Forward: I was listening to a Christian marriage writer/speaker/authority by the name of Mark Gungor (www.laughyourway.com) - and FINALLY found someone who spoke clearly and unashamedly about the subjects of SEX, Masturbation, PORN, etc. from a Biblical and Godly perspective.
After listening to him for hours (in a car, on a long trip), I was filled with the conviction that I needed to value myself, my wife, our love, and our marriage by ceasing any / all masturbation.
I'm so thankful for the grace of God, that since then I have not masturbated. I know it sounds easy for me to say, as I have a wife - but I had gone for as much as a month without masturbating when I was single, so I know it is possible to abstain, even as a single person. I'm not saying it is easy, but with time, temptation fades, and is easier to resist.
When masturbation stopped, many images in my head (from porn) started to fade as well. Quitting masturbation weakened some of the hold that porn had on me, but that has still been a struggle on and off. For me though, I think it would have been harder to quit porn before masturbation, as reliving the images just made me want to view more.
I don't know what else to say bro - we're all in this together, and I've had my share of failure, but with God's strength we can overcome. If you can, listen to Mark Gungor's radio show, as I always find it refreshing and edifying. It has helped me renew my convictions a few times.
God Bless,
hunt.
my post but thanks this really helps.
that will help some it to not be totally in private.I mean behind a locked door or closed curtains whatever.take colder showers if you gotta flip the channel or look away from the movie if you feel its making your thoughts go there.This is not gonna happen over night but i feel lame for saying this cuzz im sure the therapist may have said.You gotta keep those gutter thoughts out of your mind if you fantasize too much especially perverted sexual thoughts its not gonna work.Its more than just not touching yourself.One has to change the way he thinks.Im not gonna say stopping completly is possible unless your dedicated like that religiously,but you can have control over our bodies and we dont have to give in to it every time our eyes come across sexual images or minds entertain sexual thoughts and if you can do that(not stare at women) on the street and on screens you could work on your thoughts.At this age where im at right now its hard i cant help but admire or glance at a women with a body i find beautiful.Then i let my thoughts move on.It shouldnt last more than DAMN shes Fine!and leave it at there is absolutley no sense in entertaining any other kind of thought in your head.
Hey bro...
Let's be honest, people masturbate for all kinds of reasons.
It feels good.
A partner isn't available for intercourse.
There a sexual tension that is released afterward.
You won't get pregnant are get an STD by doing it.
Tim and Beverly LaHaye share that at the heart of masturbation the issue comes down to two primary issues: fantasy and self-control.
It sounds to me after reading your post that when it comes down to it, if masturbation was left as an issue that needed to be settled between you and God... after the release happens, you are feeling the need to confess something to God, and it is driving you nuts. When people masturbate in conjunction with pornography or sexual fantasies, it is wrong... and you are experiencing the results of it.
Masturbation is like the chronic for a lot of people... and when it becomes that, we 'have to have it', and it controls or masters us... Paul challenged each of us to let nothing master or control us (! Cor 6:12; 1 Thess 4:3-5 - meditate on these Scriptures, bro).
The essential nature of sex is the union of two people physically AND emotionally in marriage. Masturbation is not a suitable substitute for what God intended. Sex is meant to be enjoyed... and while masturbation provides a moment of pleasure... many of us here know that the guild that follows... S-U-C-K-S... especially because what you are talking about taking place in your life doesn't have the union of the physical and emotional aspect.
So... enough preaching from me... let's talk through this...
What is your main concern about masturbation?
Do you remember the first time you masturbated?
Chadwick
Pink Cross Moderator
"Blessed are those who persevere under trial, because when they have stood the test, they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."
James 1:12
Thank you everyone for the comments. I want to say that I've come to some sort of realization about masturbation since my last post. Basically, I know that masturbation places some sort of wedge between me and God. However, to completely deny my sexual urges is not healthy either. So, I guess I've been able to accept it more lately as a natural urge and I'm not looking at it as such a black and white issue. In other words, I'm not thinking that if you masturbate, you are sinful and will miss God's purpose for your life. At the same time, I'm not thinking that if you stop masturbating altogether, you will be closer to God and be happier. Concepts sometimes get in the way of my ability to be happy. What QuietRhythms said about having to confess something to God made me think a bit. Of course, I have prayed about the issue before and have asked God for guidance. I'm not saying that God has given me a definitive answer on the issue of masturbation by speaking to me directly. I mean, we all like to think of ourselves as special in some way, but I don't think I'm special in the sense that God will talk to me directly about the conflict in my mind regarding masturbation. But, it DOES help to ask God for help when you are having such a conflict. What I'm starting to think more and more is that masturbation can be a useful thing as long as it's done in moderation and not done to excess. Also, I acknowledge that masturbation will just never be satisfying when it's done in conjunction with porn. So, these are just some of my thoughts about the issue now. All I can say is: The thinking mind also can be a useful tool, but when it's used to excess, it causes misery for human beings. I say this because I was thinking too much about the masturbation issue. Thinking too much is a frequent problem for a lot of people today, but especially those with some sort of mental illness. I've always believed that I can solve my problems by thinking about them. However, this idea has been proven wrong to me many times before. So, I am open to a new way of dealing with life and solving problems. Again, I'm not saying I'm going to learn this new way of solving problems overnight, but I'm at least open to it now. So, thanks again to everyone who responded to my post.
Ian
The Bible has very little... if anything... to say about masturbation, but it has a lot to say about God's gift of sex and marriage and sinful abuse of God's good sexual gift. If self-sex is enjoyed as a gift from God and is an adjunct to a rich, healthy sexual relationship in marriage, it may not be a problem. If, however, someone has passed the tipping point - and this is quickly and easily done in our sex-obsessed culture - and masturbation is coupled with lustful fantasies or has become a substitute for relational intimacy, it is wrong and must be addressed.
I was curious, Ian, when you said, ' to completely deny my sexual urges is not healthy either. So, I guess I've been able to accept it more lately as a natural urge and I'm not looking at it as such a black and white issue. '
How did you arrive at this position? I'm just curious as to what your past experience or upbringing has taught you about handling the 'urges'. Where are lines drawn when it comes to the 'urges'? Is there ever a point when men must rise above the 'urges' to prove that they are men... and not primates?
This isn't just for Ian... feel free to jump in on this one fellas... I have a few ideas... but I'll wait till someone else carries this ball for a bit.
Chadwick
Pink Cross Moderator
"Blessed are those who persevere under trial, because when they have stood the test, they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."
James 1:12
Its kinda of hysterical how you compare masturbation with primates.The funny part is how its so like wise and that the thought gets blocked by dirty thoughts.Now that i think about it i wasnt really taught anything about masturbation or urges.The few times a dirty magazine was found by a parental figure at a young age it was just really embarrassing and forgotten.Few more years later i had access to the internet and chained my mind over the course of a few more years to not only masturbation but video(porn).Im not saying theres nothing wrong with "falling" or giving in to these urges, i have to say at some point a person will crack.Not like being sober and using drugs.Im not a doctor but i would think at a teenage or young adult age its bound to happen.I could say to myself ill stop for this much time,i have that much control then all the sudden at a certain point after, the urge takes over.i can blame it on culture but really its all due to me letting my mind wander where it shouldnt,when the urge is "handled" haha ive decieved myself into thinking my thoughts are as well(less perverted) and i dont hold half-life images of porn.When i resist i have a hard time controlling my thoughts and all these images in my mind start resurfacing.The worst part is after caving in after a a couple of weeks or so it tends to turn into a frenzy all over again.My justification for that is "oh ill keep it in check" and masturbate every so often.I find it doesnt work.My point is i pretty much gave up fighting it at all when the "rise above" moment occurs.I dont dedicate myself spiritually, for what im not a monk?a saint?a devout christain?Im not gonna pretend i have the same religious beliefs or feel as strongly about His image.I will not have porn or masturbation or the obssession of having sex,not intamacey consume my soul.I know what i have to do...unlike a primate i can recognize i have no control be mad about it and walk away from it.i just need a little guidence and questioning, not things like praying more or anything like that..i just dont pray for myself maybe the more i learn and persue the Truth in time i will want to actually pray.I read a post somewhere else of this guy who said to put down the bibles for a second and help ourselves.I know my triggers but i just have no faith at times.This ramble has really helped me to stop taking all these issues that surround this site half-heartedly anymore.Being aware and feeling guilty or sad is not enough for me ive got to change for myself not the pink cross...i would think the late reply is most obvious
i guess age is not the issue
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