It wasn't meant to be like this!
I writing this because I'm a bit bewildered as to how I got to into this position.
I'm a guy that was brought up in a decent family expecting to meet 'Miss right' at some point, get married and have kids. I never wanted to play the field, I was never interested in that and deep down I never wanted to look at porn.
It sounds sad and pathetic I know, but I honestly think that if I had found a decent girl to be with, I don't think I would have started looking at porn. I did it because I knew very little about sex and I was excited to know more. That was it, and I thought it would be just a short phase in my life.
That phase has gone on for 5 years and although the novelty has worn off slightly, the pull is still there. Much is written about people in relationships who are addicted to porn, but what about us singletons?
The things that worry me the most are that this could take the place of a relationship, and that I might end up looking at
something more perverse, accidently or otherwise.
What's strange is that I've only started worrying about porn in the last year, before it never bothered me as I figured every bloke my age was doing it, so what's the problem? Now though, my conscience has caught up with me and I'm finding it very difficult to stave off the guilt and negative thoughts which wash into my mind. I wish I could turn the clock back to more innocent days, but I can't.
I know deep down that I'm a decent, genuine person, so why is it that when I want to go porn surfing, I couldn't give a monkey's about anything else?
Comments
porn-free.org I found to be excellent. If you are religious that is. The prayers to control the forces not of God and cleanse your soul worked great for me. My term in the violate world of porn addiction was long and the thoughts of all the acts, scenes and experiences and what not just flowed on and on. Most especially in church or late at night when the wife is asleep. I tried working through it on my own using my own prayers to God and it did not pan out well. The thoughts were just to powerful. Then I found that site. Thank God I did. The results have been impressive for sure. That site is how I found Shelley's site. Anyway, I have just started the cleansing process and those prayers definitely help.
Good luck. The fact that you recognize the problem is the first and often most difficult step to take. I will pray for you now.