Struggling but constantly feeling...do I see any light at the end of the tunnel?
I'm a 19 year old guy who moved from home (US) to Europe (Prague, Czech Republic). I've been constantly having a lot of sexual pornography addiction and masturbation problems. I used to be quite pious before I came here (I used to go to church every sunday). But after coming here, a lot of things have changed. I mainly came here for educational purposes (I'm a medical student at the moment) and the worst part is that I'm constantly stressed and I feel that pornography and masturbation help me to take this stress off my mind.
But the reality is that every time I watch porn or masturbate, I only end up feeling very guilty afterward and get depressed a lot. I had a strong christian upbringing at home (thanks to my parents) that god has always given me a conscience to do what is right and what is wrong. But despite knowing that I'm doing something bad, I'm still having a hard time coping up with this problem. I really want to learn to battle this addiction problem by getting closer to God.
I've recently found a group called Jehova's Witnesses, and after having attended a few meetings at their congregation (in Prague), I I was really motivated to read the bible more and more. But, I've stopped going recently because it's just too far and I have a lot of course work and have to study constantly (and this is when my past addictions are coming back). I was also addicted to smoking for about 2 years but I've completely given it up now (thanks to God's grace).
Could anyone there give me some tips on how to battle this addiction (porn and masturbation)?? I'm sure many others are going through the same problem and I would really like to hear from them too.
Comments
ShreyPete,
First, it took a lot of courage to make your post. I commend you for it. It will be that same courage that will help you get over this problem, with God's help.
This is an addiction that is very sneaky & cunning in nature. All too often people treat it as if its NOT like a drug addiction, but it really is. The main reason is when we engage in sexual behaviors there is a release in our brain of a substance called "Dopamine". Dopamine is a natural substance that is meant to stimulate or convey pleasure in the brain, however when it is abused, we actually become addicted to it. Yes, addicted to our own brain chemistry.
Seeking greater than normal stimulation on a constant basis (what normal sexuality is, is a whole other topic) will cause your brain to crave this chemical basically, & then when you don't have that stimulation, your brain will go through withdrawal symptoms. That can include all kinds of things, from OCD type symptoms (a desire to repeat things, or have negative thoughts that keep repeating in your head & won't stop) to anxiety,depression,irritability,unexplained anger, obsession with sex, or a tendency to sexualize things that you normally wouldn't in your mind. Depending on how deep your addiction is, & how much "chemical confusion" you're experiencing, sometimes seeing a psychologist, or a family physician is a prudent thing to do. There are times when medications are necessary to help someone get their chemistry back on track enough, to give them an opportunity to see clearly enough to beat their addiction. I'm not saying that is necessarily your case, but its something worth considering WITH a medical professional. Abstaining from the behavior long enough, will help your brain reset its chemical/biological balance. That is the bottom line. Your body needs time to do that though. Every individual is a little different, but it WILL go back to normal if you give it enough time. You will eventually learn to deal with stress in more healthy ways. Exercise believe it or not, is a great way to help restore healthy brain chemistry.
With that said, Satan knows our weaknesses, & he will do what any commanding officer in a war would do. He will attack your mind veraciously & try to keep you down when you're most vulnerable. He will try to make you screw up. Its what he does. All day & all night. He tries to destroy people. Resists this with prayer. Satan hates prayer, & when a sincere prayer is given to God in the presence of he & his demons, he runs like hell! There is definitely a spiritual component, but this is a three part problem. Spiritual,Physical, & Emotional. None of those can be neglected while addressing addiction. If you wonder how I know all this? Unfortunately I went down this same road far enough to see that it was going to take me out permanently if I kept walking on it.
If there's anything I can do to support you, shoot me a message.
I will be praying for you. ~Dan
Thanks a lot for the advice. I really appreciate it. I've started changing myself slowly and I've already slipped a few times but I'm not going to give up (I guess that what Satan wants me to do).....thank you all once again.
Hi, shreypete.
All I can tell you is what works for me.
First you must be ready to do this for your self not for anyone else not church friends or family. No even God.
God doesn't want you to do anything for him.
But he does want is you to give this to him.
The secret for me is to give this to God and surrender it all to him. Surrender my life. That's what God wants most of all.
If God asks you for a sandwich and you only give him a bite, have you given what God is asking you for?
If you give God that whole sandwich to eat its you that will feel full.
Its and amazing relationship with him, if we give God all our problems and surrender, he in turns makes us us whole.
Another Key, shreypete
is your letter is just like how I think, and its always has the word I , or others in it. Pornography like any addiction is a selfish act. And in turn we feel guilty. However if you give this hurt and pain to God and ask him to give you strength and surrender your will to him, you will be amazed.
I am also a drug / alcohol addict, with 3 1/2 year sobriety and in just the last few days have surrendered this last addiction I had to God. That being Porn.
Each day I say the Serenity Prayer and many time during it.,
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change the courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference.
The guilt is not God being ashamed of you, It will melt away if you surrender your own will and place Gods will in place.
I have been a Pastor for 6 years and had all my addiction right smack in the middle of all this. But it was my own guilt, not God making me feel guilty. So I can tell you the church plays only a small part for its your relationship God wants and its his relationship your life needs. Surrender and ask him to take this from you and give you strength.
God Bless
Paul